A new year

"They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness." Lamentations 3:23

I have always been intrigued by the dawn of a new year. Some will make resolutions to improve a part of their life. Some will disregard this and not even try, because "they never keep them." The later in some ways is probably right. As humans, although I believe we intend good, it is inevitable we are going to fail at some point. At that point, we have a choice to either stay down or get back up and trudge forward. I think this is why I have really found peace in this passage in Lamentations. I know that in some aspects of my life after I fail at something, I almost try to hide so God can't see my imperfections. However, as He gently draws me closer to Him during these times, I realize how much He is in love with us and His mercy really is new each and every morning!

This is why I salute those who set goals at the beginning of a new year. They are making a statement saying this is something I need to change about my life, and I'm starting now. More than likely they will falter at times, but having that ambition and motivation to begin with is a crucial first step. And, from a spiritual standpoint, God's mercies are new every morning (not just at the beginning of a new year), so friends claim that for the year 2011!

I did not set any New Year Resolutions last year for some reason, but this year is going to be different. I am really excited for what this year brings! I have some things in my head of what I am resolving to do this year, but I will bring those to you at a later date. I have grown up with making S.M.A.R.T. goals, therefore, "Having a good attitude," and "Enjoy life," does not suffice for a good S.M.A.R.T. resolution for me. Haha. But, stay tuned... Good luck in your 2011 endeavors!

2010

I was thinking about this past year the other day and was surprised of how things can change so quickly. For instance, after what seemed like 4 long years, I finally graduated from Oklahoma State University with my bachelor's in agricultural communications. I was supposed to graduate, find a job, and be content beyond belief with where my life was headed.

I distinctly remember on my way home from work one summer day just crying in my car (like several times before during the summer) and thinking "You know you are on God's plan when you are not on yours anymore." You see, my work was the same place I had been all during college-I went back to graduate school. AND, accepted a graduate assistantship position in the same office I worked during my undergraduate years. It was a great place to work, but this was definitely not the plan for after graduation.

With one semester done in graduate school, I must say being on God's plan is the most difficult, yet rewarding thing I have ever done. Contrary to what people might think, allowing God to lead your life comes with pain-and I've certainly experienced that during this time of my life. However, I live by the words of John 10:10, "The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full." You see, even through the pain, I believe God still has a plan for my life, and He has allowed for some amazing things to happen throughout this time. Here are some examples:

1) Church Family-I grew up in church so the concept of a church family is not new to me. What is different is how it is approached. They are here to encourage and support you, and to laugh and share memories with too. There is a certain comfort is just having a chat with someone who believes the way you do and you can completely be yourself. Also, I have noticed that we all have different things we have experienced through life. We should be here for each other.

2) Missions- During the past several months, I finally accepted a call to missions. God had been tugging at my heart and telling me to do this for awhile now, but sometimes, quite frankly, it is easier to stray. Thankfully, I obeyed. Although I'm still trying to figure out where God wants me, He keeps showing me everyday of how we must move beyond our church walls. Our local communities and states need to hear the love of Christ too. I'm excited to see where He leads me!

3) Family- Yes, I'm also living at home. At times it is difficult, I'm not going to lie on that one, but it has been such a blessing to be able to do things with my family that I have not done in a long time. It is nice to spend more time with my niece and nephew too. And, just like a couple years ago, we are minus one family member as they are serving overseas. Although I don't wish that on anybody, it does keep things in perspective.

I'm not sure what 2011 is going to bring. However, I'm looking forward to what God brings our way. I'm still trying to follow God's plan, and I truly believe with Him, all things are possible.

In death

In death I am reminded of how much it hurts. It hurts the family and friends who knew the person and it hurts to watch those who hurt. In death I reminded of how important community is-your relationships with the people around you. I am reminded of how important your family is and being thankful for those who you can still share life with. In death I am reminded of what really matters in life-and it isn't the material things we tend to value so much. I am reminded of how important your church family is. Most importantly, I am reminded that as Christians, death has no claim on us. God conquered death so that we may live eternally with Him.

John 19:30 shows us the 3 words Jesus said before He died on the cross more than 2,000 years ago: "It is finished." With this, we have been offered a gift and we must choose either to accept it or not. However, I have to say why not take God up on His offer? This is a gift that keeps giving and giving. Christianity is not a ticket to being perfect because we aren't, and are not capable of perfection, and it isn't going to relieve you of adversity in your life, but it will give you hope. God also offers mercy and grace and like I originally said, eternal life.

I have been thinking about this post for several days in light of a family friend's mother/grandmother. In my head this post runs on and on, but thoughts have seem a little fleeting right now. Sometimes fewer words are better.

God is love

Human love fails. Ever since our ancestors ate the forbidden fruit, we have been incapable of being perfect. Yes, that means even you are not perfect. As humans, we do not have the capacity to truly love another, let alone God, like God loves us.

For a little while now, I have been struggling over how or why does God love me so. We can quote the scriptures saying how much He loves us and we can tell others about His love and how much He loves us, but how often do you stop and actually let that resonate within you? I know God loves me, but sometimes I wonder why. I am so unworthy of His love and grace and mercy, and yet he bestows it on me time and time again.

However, tonight maybe something else clicked. What is true love? If God is love then shouldn’t love be a relentless, ever-pursuing relationship? Since God is love, isn’t love forgiving, compassionate, and just? Isn’t love a best friend and isn’t it a love of few words yet a never-ending thirst to hear what you have to say and be a listening ear?

If God calls you to be married, I assume He creates this type of love into your humanly relationship-as much as possible since we are mere humans. Therefore, I should stop trying to satisfy a want for love through human interactions and let the Lover of my Soul just do His work. Allow Him to pursue me and me pursue Him. At the right time, God-willing, He will make known the human love relationship He has intended for me. God is love. His example should be our example in life. We will still fail because we are humans, but the True Love is right there waiting for us and that is where I find my peace and hope.

Photo Attribution

Did you know?

To my surprise, when my family went to my little brother's Basic Combat Training graduation, several people who graduated with him also obtained their American citizenship the night before. So, my curiosity was definitely heightened because I was unsure who would be trying to become an American citizen while also wanting to serve in the U.S. Army. Granted, I was curious and a little uneasy of that feeling. This is probably because my little brother told me several of those were original Iraqi citizens. Once again, what?! The people we are fighting against are also serving alongside our American soldiers.

Well, that is the truth. They are now Americans and American soldiers themselves. Many of those have been serving as interpreters in Iraq and as allies to our armed forces. So obviously what we are doing in Iraq is for the good. And, I think this teaches us an important lesson-sometimes what we are "fighting" against is only an illusion, sometimes the best and most productive way to combat enemies, is to befriend them-maybe they don't necessarily want to be our enemy, we just make them that way.

If you would like to read about an American citizen from Iraq, please go here and look on the current edition of the Ft. Jackson Leader on page 2. It educated me, and I hope it will you too.

Waiting for the celebration

"This is the day the LORD has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it." Psalm 118:24

Some days when it becomes just a tad too hard for me to take another step without uttering God's praises, I am reminded of this verse. It is all too easy to get wrapped up in the day to day distractions and fast-paced whirlwind, that I fail to stop and thank God for already planning this day and this moment. Over the past couple of years when the only emotion I could think of was to just cry, God reassured me that He made this day. He planned every little detail and He was carrying me through until the end. Although this verse has comforted me many times before, I started really saying it when my brother was in Iraq. Then I said it when my little brother left for Basic, despite the brokenness that had overtaken me. God gently reminded me He was the One in control. He knew what was going to happen and He had already planned that moment. He knows how to restore your brokenness, and I know He is the Ultimate Healer. I only say this because I have experience it. I guess it wasn't a huge surprise when the K-love verse of the day on Thursday, Aug. 12, was Psalm 118:24. This was also the day of Tim's Basic Training Graduation. Even though there was pain to begin with, God also planned the day for celebration.

Lately, I have been praying for God's strength cause I know my strength is not enough to support me. I know that nothing of me will ever be able to compare to what God can do through me. In a time of uncertainties, excitement, and questions, I will stand on the promise that God created this day to be a part of His plan. Remember you always have to go through this day to get to the next. That doesn't seem profound, but it is a forgotten reminder. Though in life we are scared and fear and are broken, God has planned a day of celebration if we just keep on fighting. He wins, therefore we win.

Proof

"Jesus loves me this I know, for the Bible tells me so ..."

When my niece, Mia, was born, my grandma changed the words just a tad to say, "Jesus loves Mia this I know..." and well it has always stuck with me. Every time we get the chance we take Mia to church with us and we try to take her to Awana's on Wednesday nights. Awana's is a children's program, for lack of a better word, used to equip children with studying the Bible. The other night Mia was staying the night with us and she ended up sleeping in my room. I think I have figured out why she does this-I let her stay up as late as she wants-but then again I don't mean to digress. We have always read stories to her so it is only natural that she loves reading. But, here lately, she absolutely loves to make up stories-this girl has a great imagination! Sometimes we share "little girl" stories. My dad started this tradition with me and we have used it with her. The thing is she not only likes to hear them, but also tell them herself. However, last night, she had her Bible and wanted to tell me a story. She kept saying it was a pretend story, therefore I absolutely had no idea what I was about to hear.

She started by telling me about Jesus. And, how He is alive. She said He was nailed to a cross in both of His hands and feet and thorns were placed on His head. He was put in a tomb, but the guards were scared of the angel, she said and He is now alive. I am standing back pretty amazed at this point, thinking how did she know any of this! I think the pretend part came when she started flipping through her Bible, looking at the pictures, and relating what she figured them to be. She said God wanted us to share, to help others, to pray, to be nice, to do what your mom and dad says, to take care of the Earth and build community (I later figure this one is from Disney or something cause oh my goodness wow), etc. I think the beauty in this though, is that God really does call us to do these things. Although she was explaining what she thought it to be from a picture, we really are called to do each of those. Later, she asked me my first tough God question-If Jesus is in Heaven, and we can't see Him, how do we really know He is real?

Honestly, don't we all ask that question some time in our lives? We can talk the talk all we want, but when are we actually going to start living like God is alive and He is coming back again? Now, she is 5 years old, so I figure these questions will start coming, and we did talk about believing in Jesus and that He loves her. She knows that, but it is kind of an exciting time, ya know?

A couple of weeks ago, I sit in on her Sunday School class to fill in for the teachers. There was only 3 girls, and as we sit around the table discussing the lesson for the day, eating our pretend play dough goodies, I asked them how we could help others. They were great at coming up with answers, then my precious Mia said, "We are lucky." I don't think she knew the extent to what that meant, but it blew me away. I literally had tears in my eyes. Yes, we are so blessed and lucky. Despite the grief, troubles, and tribulations, we are so blessed beyond our imagination.

I'm excited for a couple opportunities this upcoming year. 1) To work with the bed babies in the nursery during sunday school. 2) To help with AWANA's on Wednesday nights. Both of these have to do with children, and I think it is important to start mentoring as soon as you can. Yes, babies are a little difficult, but you can be the smiling, comforting face to the parents when they come in too. I asked myself a question earlier on about how did Mia know this stuff? Well, it is because children soak up a lot of information. They are a sponge. And, they love to tell what they have learned. To have faith like a child is a wondrous thing...maybe we should all revisit our childhood sometime.