Attitude

"The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life.

Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill. It will make or break a company ... a church ... a home.

The remarkable thing is we have a choice every day regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past. We cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable.

The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude ... I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me, and 90% how I react to it. And so it is with you ... we are in charge of our Attitudes."- Charles Swindoll

As I was passing an office today, I noticed these words posted on the outside of the door. This is not the first time I have heard this saying, but sometimes you need to hear it again before it can truly sink in.

I like to think of myself as a typically upbeat, positive, God-lovin' girl. However, lately I have felt my attitude has not been what it should be. It has been more about bitterness and how could they do this to me?? lol But, I believe we are given the opportunity to choose whether we are happy or not. Life happens. It is not always fair. But, I don't have to live like that. I can be happy :)

I read this last week, "This situation hasn't caught God off guard." So even when I am frustrated at something, God already knows it was coming...Heck, He planned that very moment! Today, I choose to be happy and blessed!

The Soldier

I last saw him at the end of September. He arrived in Iraq on Oct. 12. Talk about a life-changing experience. I tried to act like I had it all together, but truth be told I was crumbling inside. I really believe from that point on, some things in my life had changed. I thought several people in my life would be there, but they really weren't. I learned how to lean on God. I learned how to allow Him to be my Healer and my Provider. I learned how much family really meant. Now, I still sometimes struggle with both, but nobody is perfect :)

Bryan and I have always been fairly close. In whatever he did, he always worked hard and never complained. Everyone liked him. Before high school, my life consisted of watching him play baseball in the fall, basketball in the winter, and baseball in the spring. You know what? I loved it. I would much of rather been there than do anything that I was doing lol. I am pretty sure I cried when they lost their area playoff game in basketball when he was a senior. I know, crazy huh? :) I mean I didn't even shed one tear when I cheered my last game or graduated from high school. He played the part of 'big brother' really well lol. He even allowed me to hang out with him, but there isn't much to do in small town Oilton, USA. So just 'hanging out' wasn't really my thing. However, being the younger sister, I loved being around him and his friends ;) Haha

Although he has always been a very determined person, I have never seen him put more into something as he has the military. In his unit, he was named Soldier of the Month in only his 2nd month to be there. It is a joke over there because he has met people such as John McCain, George W. Bush, Kellie Pickler, Lewis Black, WWF people (I'm not really into that lol), Santa Claus, and he is actually friends with Beau Biden. He was recently transferred to Camp Liberty because many officers had recruited him so much. Kinda makes a sister proud :) He gets up early and stays late. I actually do not like to get up early and stay up late any day haha.

He may be in an office, but that doesn't make him 'safe.' Because I like to read the news, every time I see a headline regarding Iraq or Baghdad, I go read it. Typically they are about an American soldier dying, but names are never released. I mean, I know if he was hurt or killed, we would know immediately as he was identified, but I still cringe every time I read one of those headlines. I don't think anyone really understands that. For the longest time, I felt extremely guilty for having fun because I knew he was in Iraq. I was really excited to learn soldiers could drink 2 beers on Super Bowl Sunday because I knew he would get to have a little fun. And, I know they make the most of their time by playing flag football games, running marathons and half-marathons (which my brother has won several awards or should I say T-shirts for placing in these events) and whatever else they do lol.

Bryan will be home in about two weeks for his 2-week leave. As excited as I am he will be home, I have incredibly mixed feelings. As hard as it was to say goodbye the first time, how about the second? My niece is super excited. She told me several months ago she wanted to hunt Easter eggs with daddy, so guess what we will be doing? I never knew it could hurt so bad when a 3-year-old looks up at you and says, "I miss daddy." Or, when you are blowing bubbles says, "that is going to daddy in Iraq." She can even point on a map where Bryan is and where we are. Wow, that is a long ways! lol

I am not writing this for pity. I am writing this because I feel like people are at different points in their life and we all need to understand that. Sorry if writing a paper, doing homework, and taking tests do not always seem like that big of a deal to me right now. Sorry if I would rather be with family than practically doing nothing at my apartment. Sorry if I would rather be with my niece and nephew doing anything with them than being a regular college student who doesn't have to think about such things. I am starting to feel like what I felt before he left. However, in two weeks, it all starts again. I know my emotions will be hanging right on my sleeves. And be careful, a simple "How are you doing?" might result in me breaking down haha. Trust me, it happened when he went to Basic Training! lol. I try to be strong; I am pretty good faking that emotion, but sometimes I just can't. Sometimes people can't. I am not always good at relating to people, but I try. I hope you will give it a try too :)

The Greatest Love

"...God is love." 1 John 4:8

This seems so simple. To understand the God of the universe is love and He loves us. But, I need to share that I have been struggling lately with this thought. Not so much as if He loves us, but why does He love us? Over 2000 years ago, God sent His one and only son to live on Earth. To live among the liars and theifs and sinners, imperfect people like you and me. Although Jesus was tempted in every way, He lived a perfect life. He has been through the struggles and brokenness we face and yet remained sinless. He is our example. And still, because we are sinners, we hammered every single nail to His body to the cross. We did this to Him, and yet He still loves us and keeps pursuing us with a passion I can't offer Him. As much as I try, I seem to fail and I don't always understand why He continues to love me unconditionally. Recently, the all to common verse, John 3:16, has been used in many situations. How often do we hear this verse and casually glance it over because we know what it says? But, do you? Do you really know what this verse means? God sent His one and only son so that each and everyone of us who BELIEVE in Him will not die but have eternal life!!!! (I added a few of my own words) Christ has brought us from darkness to light!! In sin we are dead, but God has made us alive in Him...and it is fully yours, as a gift. Another verse that seriously has been popping up everywhere lately is, "The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise." This is found in Psalm 51:17. I haven't really understood what this meant until lately, and I am sure I couldn't begin to explain all the ways it could be meant. To be honest, I didn't even really know the definition of contrite. According to Merriam-Webster dictionary, contrite means a "feeling or showing sorrow and remorse for a sin or shortcoming." God loves for us to just come as we are to Him and let His love pour over us. It is amazing the complete freedom you receive when you accept God's love and love Him back. God already knows what is going on in your life--He planned it, friend--just talk to Him and let Him break the chains! We all have our struggles, and although "He paid a debt He did not owe, and I owe a debt, I cannot pay," He would have still offered Jesus as a sacrifice so that even one may come to know him as God. By not accepting the love God has bestowed, I am rejecting Him. It is tough for me to swallow and grasp how extravagant the Love of God is, but I am so thankful for this unfathomable love. Thank you, God.

I am reading a book called Crazy Love by Francis Chan. There is a prayer that explains pretty much how I feel...here it is.

Jesus, I need to give myself up. I am not strong enough to love You and walk with You on my own. I can't do it, and I need You. I need You deeply and desperately. I believe You are worth it, that You are better than anything else I could have in this life or the next. I want You. And when I don't, I want to want You. Be all in me. Take all of me. Have Your way with me.

You can't really talk about God's love without talking about grace so stay tuned for the next blog :)

Miss California

"Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also."
Matthew 6:19-21

Were you able to watch the Miss USA contest the other night? I was not, but I have definitely heard about it and I am sure you have to. Miss California Carrie Prejean was asked a question about same-sex marriage. She gave an honest answer and said her beliefs are that marriage is supposed to be between a man and a woman. Amen.

Prejean was competing for MISS USA!! This is not the time to stand up for your beliefs, right? She may have lost a crown here on Earth, but great are her rewards in Heaven. She was on the Today Show and told Matt Lauer it is the way she was brought up. It was Biblical truth. This wasn't God's plan for her. She wouldn't change a thing. Wow...

It is amazing to me how our plans sometimes do not coincide with what God has in store for us. Sometimes I am very stubborn and want to go my way, but God has my whole life planned out...He already knows what is going to happen. He has a plan for me :)

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord. "Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans for a hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

I may not always know His plan, but I know it is far greater than mine. Simply because it is God-created. I will cling to that truth.

Prejean will not be Miss USA. But, because she stood up for what she believed in, she will be able to talk to students and others about doing what is right. She has been given opportunities to let God's light shine through this whole situation. Don't tell me God isn't in it...

Disclaimer: This is my opinion...my right as an American...you can have yours too...

To listen to Miss California go to this link... http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/26184891/vp/30322011#30322011

Blessed

April flies by way too fast to really know what each day brings. Being a student, you have tests, projects, and papers just to keep up with school. Then your personal life and whatever may come with that. Then you have all the extracurricular stuff such as club meetings, banquets, contests, you know...end of the year wrap-up activities. In this hectic and some what chaotic time, we tend to forget how very blessed we are.

In 1995, I was a first grader at Harmony Elementary in Cushing, Okla., when I heard a loud noise. I remember looking around and everyone in my class heard it. Not many will believe that a town over an hour away from Oklahoma City would hear this boom, but we did. That afternoon, every TV station was reporting about a bombing that took place at the Alfred P. Murrah Building. This attack claimed 168 lives, left hundreds injured, and probably had countless other effects on people we will never know.

In 1999, a high school shooting in Columbine, Colo., claimed 12 lives and left many injured. Ten years ago today, families lost their loved ones. This has seemed to cause an uproar with security in our school systems. This includes our elementary schools. These kids are too young to have these type of feelings.

In 2007, as a freshmen in college, reports were all over the TV saying a shooting had taken place at Virginia Tech. This left me scared as I walked across campus the next morning to attend my 7:30 a.m. class. We all became Hokies that day.

Amidst these tragedies, we have to look back on these things and say we are blessed, don't we? My thoughts and prayers will forever go out to the families and friends who lost people in these events. When April appears to become too fast, I will remember how blessed I am.

Blessed not because of these events, but blessed I was given the opportunity to live another day. Blessed to still have my family and friends. Blessed to live in a free country. Blessed to say "In God we trust!" There are many things to be thankful for...you might just have to look around.

The birds and the bees

Today has been very uneventful. However, my niece whom you have read a little about it previous posts is here with us tonight. We are watching a movie and the girl gets pregnant and so my 3-year old niece turns around and says, "how did she get pregnant?" OK now, isn't that a little too young for her to be asking a question of this magnitude. Maybe she is just inquisitive. Haha...we laughed and my little brother said a stork brings the baby...lol. She didn't ask anymore. I am not the mom or dad, this is not my job. Maybe this post was TMI, but I think it is funny. Anyways, tomorrow is Easter Sunday!!

I'm Back :)

Hey, guys! Sorry it has been awhile with school and all, I just haven't found much time to blog. But, I think I am making it a goal to blog a little maybe everyday...we will see..lol. Anyways, I know you are dying to know what is going on in my mind and I am about to tell you.

Fires have been burning like crazy here in Oklahoma. We have had our fair share of natural disasters and this one was no different than the others. Often people laugh at our news stations because they tend to only report on whatever weather may be happening, especially if it is something like this. However, I think a little different. I think this is Oklahoma at its best. They reported on what Oklahoma wants to hear. I also noticed how many mass texts were sent out last night to pray for the firefighters and families still battling the fires. This is America! This is Oklahoma! We help each other out. It amazes me every time. So many people stepped up today to help their fellow Oklahomans. Right now, we are not the only ones who are experiencing disasters such as these. It makes me really open my eyes to what is really important, ya know? I am very blessed I can sit here tonight in the comfort of my home with most all my family members. But, my prayers will still go out to everyone in America who may not be as fortunate tonight.

This is Easter weekend. In fact, today is Good Friday!! I read something today by Max Lucado about the cross. The cross is very symbolic in the Christian faith. People wear them as jewelry, hang them in their homes, some may even make the image of a cross when they pray. The list could go on and on. The wow factor here is ... my Jesus died on a cross over 2000 years ago today. He died so that I may live. What might seem as a symbol of death, is really a symbol of life! I am so thankful for the cross!! Isaiah 53:5 says, "But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was upon him, and by his wounds we are healed." Wow! Thank you Jesus! I know I am not worthy of his love and grace and mercy. But, I am learning to lean on Him more and more because I can't live without Him. As the lyrics go, "Jesus paid it all, all to Him I owe."

This weekend, have fun hunting easter eggs and enjoying yummy food with the family (because I will too), but please remember what this holiday means..Jesus died on the cross so that we may live...but he rose on the 3rd day. He is alive!

To read Max Lucado's article about the cross, please visit http://maxlucado.com/email/2009/03.29.html