The Big, Yellow Schoolbus

I guess it is inevitable school begins once more on Monday. I will be starting my 2nd year as a graduate student at Oklahoma State. I kind of feel like this in my senior year all over again. At this point 2 years ago, I definitely thought this was the end of my formal education. Little did I know God had plans for me to stay for another two years. However, this is it for me.

Since both of my parents were in education, I grew up in the school. When I was younger my favorite part of the year was when school supplies came in, and we got to distribute the materials to the teachers. No lie. There was a couple of us who had parents who were teachers and so we would spend the whole day playing and doing whatever the teachers needed. Man, those were the days.

Although both of my brothers played sports all their lives, it wasn't until about my 5th grade year that I started to attend regular high school baseball and basketball games. Since Oilton was a small school, we had fall baseball, basketball, and then spring baseball. In the summer, sometimes my older brother played summer leagues too. Needless to say, I watched a lot of sports in my days-we always went to the games, which is something I am very proud and honored that my parents chose to support us in everything we did. When I got in high school, I was a cheerleader and so once again, we traveled to all of the basketball games. I made as many baseball games as I could amongst anything else I was doing, but my brother had already graduated.

During college, I still made an effort to attend all my little brothers activities as well, but it got a little harder. And then came my junior year in college when Tim transferred to Cushing, but dad still traveled to baseball and basketball games with Oilton since he was the Principal/Athletic Director. I will forever savor those moments we traveled to games together. We have been to a lot of places. This may seem nerdy, but I love to see school buses on the road. I love to see where they are from and what direction they are headed. It literally brings a smile to my face every time. It reminds me of those times traveling to baseball, basketball, and football games (when Tim transferred schools). Last year, I wasn't able to go to as many high school games. My dad is no longer at Oilton and so he doesn't have those responsibilities, but we still like to get back to Oilton and watch as much as possible.

With this being my last year around this area, that I know, I am going to try and get to as many football, baseball, basketball games as much as I can. I don't like high school sports because it reminds me of the "Glory Days." I like high school sports because of the memories with my family, especially my dad.

Support local sports this upcoming year. Get involved, cheer loud, and make memories.

9:03

"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone,
the new has come! 2 Corinthians 5:17

Throughout my life, the 9 o'clock hour has made a significant impact on me and I'm sure others. In 2001, terrorists attacked American soil between ~8:45 a.m.-10 a.m. with different attacks. Several years later my older brother joined the U.S. Army as an Army Reserve. Little did I know that in 2009, he would serve a tour in Iraq. That year, I feel like I was more aware of the clock than ever before. I distinctly remember every time looking at the clock and seeing, "9:11," whether it was in the morning or evening. Obviously, I'm sure I looked at the clock other times, but I did see "9:11" many times. I truly believe this was a way God used to remind me to pray for him and the rest of the men and women serving.

Another significant time happened when I was in the 1st grade. I can not believe this much time has passed since 1995, but Oklahomans will never forget April 19, 1995. Timothy McVeigh bombed the Murrah Federal Building at 9:02 a.m., and by 9:03 a.m., 168 lives were taken from Earth and others faced emotional and physical pain. I know I was young and lived about an hour away, but I remember that day very clear, and I remember hearing the bomb.

BUT, this past summer, campers attending Falls Creek were able to establish a new norm for the 9 o'clock hour-freedom! Every morning, at 9:03, they would ring the bell for every person who accepted Christ as their Savior the night before. I can not put into words what this time meant to me. 1) I was so excited to have new brothers and sisters in Christ! 2) Although the things of the past did happen in the 9 o'clock hour, I was able to claim something other than hurt for that time. It was a time of celebration! 3) For many people these tragedies have ended in death, but to these people who accepted Christ - they now have life!

Give it up

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest."
Matthew 11:28

Throughout the past church year, I have had the opportunity to work in the nursery. When I started last September, we had two babies. We have grown! We now have a steady five who come pretty much every week, and then every so often have another one as a visitor. It has been a blessing to be able to watch these kids grow up right before our eyes and see how this group has grown so much because of new babies being born or by families that have started attending our church.

Since we had two for a long period of time, the other lady and I was kind of "in charge" of one each. We didn't mean for it to be that way, but that is the way it worked out. The one I mainly had, was well, not always happy when he came into the nursery. He just didn't want to be away from his mom. But, after awhile he started to play and is now even walking!

Recently, this little boy has started fussing toward the end of Sunday School time again. Since I've been around him quite a bit, I kind of know what to do, but he likes to watch me for the longest time before finally just falling asleep. The other Sunday as I was rocking him to sleep, it made me think of myself (ourselves) and our relationship with Christ at times. Sometimes we go through struggles or dark times and don't really know where to turn, or sometimes we do turn to God, but don't necessarily let Him have the reins in the situation. He is always there, and just like He says in the verse, "Come to me...and I will give you rest." As I held this sweet little boy in my arms, I remember saying, "Give it up, you're OK, I have you."

In some situations of my life I have felt God's arms just wrapped around me for protection and to show me that He was there. Other times I have wanted to be like this boy and not want to close my eyes. Maybe it is out of fear because I like to be in control, and when you truly let God lead your life, it is pretty incredible and not necessarily comfortable. But, we serve a God who loves us so much that He wants to provide rest and comfort and peace to us. He wants to be our Father. It is such a comfort knowing that when we are completely at the end of our rope, God wraps us in His arms and tell us to "Give it up, you're OK, I have you."

Pink and God

I'll admit it, I'm a channel surfer-whether it is on TV or the radio station, I like to switch channels and see if something better is on. Yet, at times I am fairly content with what is being shown/heard. The first time I heard Pink's new song, "Perfect," I really liked it. (By the way, I just googled the lyrics and I guess, there is potentially another word in front of Perfect on the unedited version, so sorry). Anyways, the chorus reads...

Pretty pretty please, don't you ever ever feel
Like you're less than, less then perfect
Pretty pretty please, if you ever ever feel like you're nothing
You're perfect to me!

When I first heard these couple of lines, I thought of God pleading these words for us. I know it is odd because this is definitely not a "Christian" song, but it made sense to me. There are people and things all around us trying to make us something we are not. For girls, magazines depict how we can firm up, drop waist sizes, apply the perfect makeup, and have the best de-frizziest hair...just to name a few. Then, maybe you feel like you have to be "perfect" for your guy/girl...whatever that means in your relationship. Or, maybe it is just having a guy/girl. It just seems the world is demanding us to be "perfect" in their eyes, which isn't always Godly. And, often this leads down to the path of destruction.

God created us in His image; He has made you a beautiful masterpiece-He said so! (Psalm 139:14) I truly believe He looks at us and thinks we are beautiful and PERFECT! I'm not saying it is always easy to believe it every second of the day, but I do believe He wants us to see that in ourselves because He sees that in us. To know the Creator of the Universe looks down on us and sees something beautiful, makes me feel extremely loved. Thank you God!

What a week

It wasn't until this morning while at church that I glanced back at this week and everything that has happened. The week wasn't super busy, but many events led to feelings of being helpless, peace, excitement, hope, sad, and a variety of other emotions. I cannot believe 1 week ago today, many lost their lives during the Joplin, Mo. tornado. And, even if they didn't lose their life they probably know someone who did or experienced destruction in some way. A couple days later, many lives were changed too here in Oklahoma.

Monday morning our family received an email saying that my cousin's nephew, Quenton, was involved in an accident the night before and was in critical condition in ICU at the OU Medical Center. Just the week before, I had been playing with Quenton at my other cousin's baptism. Quenton, who is 4, isn't related to me, only I guess by marriage. However, that side of the family is really close. Quenton is still in ICU, but God intervened many times that evening so that he would still be alive today. Quenton opened his eyes yesterday, but only 1 eye was tracking and had a seizure, so the doctors gave him more medicine to put him back asleep. Doctors say this is normal though. I posted this to Facebook and many said they would pray. One included a professor who lifted Quenton up during one of their prayer group meetings they have every week at work. This professor is still getting updates. This makes me extremely happy to know our professors seek God and do care for their students in this way.

Tuesday marked the Oklahoma tornadoes. Our amazing weathermen kept warning us (even the day before) that the storms we were going to receive were going to be really bad). My niece and nephew were at my house and we decided to not do the usual thing, so we went up to our church since my dad had keys and stayed there. The church has a basement area so we thought it would be good. The church is not usually opened as a tornado shelter, but since we were up there, we definitely weren't going to turn any away. One family who was on their way to Guthrie was stopped by the police and said they couldn't go further. They are just 4 of about 25 who made their way to our church for shelter. The sirens sounded although there wasn't a tornado in Cushing, but Guthrie did get hit hard. Incredible how God works.

I remember the next several days at work trying to get things done, but my mind was obviously in other places. I kept refreshing my Facebook page to see if anything had been said about the rescue workers who were desperately trying to find this little 3-year-old boy, Ryan Hamil. God works in mysterious ways. I remember saying a prayer on Wednesday, and then right after I saw a Facebook page that was created to make people aware of this situation and basically telling them to pray. Today, this page has close to 43,000 followers. It is incredible to me to think of all these people lifting up prayers for this family and to others involved. Knowing Ryan was in God's hand whether here on Earth or with Him in Heaven, I said another prayer on Thursday morning that they would find this precious boy to help bring closure to this family. During their press conference later that morning, I realized that they found Ryan probably right around the time I was praying that prayer. God heard and answered my prayer (and others who were praying) even though it isn't the outcome any of us would have desired.

However, at the end of the week, one of my really good friends, got married to her best friend. I was blessed to be a part of such an occasion. It is so exciting to see this happen between two people who have put Christ in the center of their life and relationship.

God has definitely been teaching me to pray and to pray daily. Only our God can be the Ultimate Healer and Comforter during these times. He is our Hope. He answers our prayers, and I know that His will and understanding is much better than mine. He is also showing me to celebrate the good in our lives. He provides blessings every single day. Please be looking and watching and thanking Him for providing those to us.

I feel like I could write forever about this, but in the end all I can is, what a week. God is good, all the time. All the time, God is good.

Love

“…and the greatest of these is love.” 1 Cor. 13:13

For years, I have been ashamed and been hurt by what would appear as selfish pity. You see I have a niece and nephew who were born out of wedlock and by different mothers. This isn’t the type of environment I was raised in and so it never seemed easier to hear news that I would be an aunt. Plus, what would others think about me if I told them about this? I love my niece and nephew so very much, as if they were my own. I would never trade them for anything in this world. And, I love my brother very much-sometimes “bad” things happen to good people. And, although this really didn’t concern me, it still cut deep for many years.

Whenever these kids are together you better want to play with both of them at the same time and do the same things because you can not separate them. They absolutely love each other. They love their daddy too. They are so proud of him serving our country-they even went to help him sort out supplies at the base last weekend. And, they want to be just like him. But, the thing that amazes me the most is how much love they share for each other. They call each other brother and sister and stick up for one another. They love being around each other-in fact, from what I hear Mia is having a slumber party at Rylan’s tonight-something that might be uncommon in this type of situation. Yet, I can’t seem but thank God for bringing such a happy thing out of a sea of possible confusion.

Even amongst the brokenness and pain we have endured, the love they share for each other as brother and sister is worth it all. It [love] really is greater than anything.

It reminds me of how much love our Heavenly Father has for us. He is completely swept away by us even with our failures and shortfalls. The God who is Love (1 John 4:8), loves us unmatched to anything on Earth. He wants to have a relationship with His sons and daughters. Isn’t it cool to be called a Daughter of the King?! Thank you, God, for loving us relentlessly. May our prayer be to become more like You.

Here they are!

I know you (if anyone actually reads this) have been dying to read what I am resolving to do for the year 2011 :) Soooo....I will not make you wait any longer-here they are!

1) Read the whole Bible in 1 year
Many Bible reading plans are out there if you are looking into really digging into the Word. I will be using a plan from Youversion.com. Maybe you would rather start with reading through the New Testament or the Psalms and Proverbs-many plans are made for this as well. Hint-if you read 1 Proverb each day, you can read through all of Proverbs in a month-cool, huh?

2) Become more fit and toned by Mattie's wedding in May
I am a bridesmaid in a wedding and would like to look like I maybe perhaps actually workout, plus I would like to start doing more physical activity. There are several ways I am planning on trying this out-sidenote: I have made fitness more a part of my life than it is now, so I am not completely trying something new haha. I'm going to start running-well, walking and running...I'm not a runner and possibly that is the way it will stand, but there is no harm in trying something different. Plus, excess pop should be eliminated from the daily routine and some kind of other activity-perhaps, yoga??

3) Use my mortar board
If you know me at all you are probably wondering why this one is in there because I always use my mortar board. But, the truth is, I really haven't used it much this past semester. Some people create lists and use calendars and others do not. Not using my mortar board is probably why at times my life has been chaotic cause I didn't really know what was going on. Some have a gift at remembering things without writing them down, but that is not my gift, and I have come to accept that part of me. I will stop judging those who seem to fly by the seat of their pants because, truth be told, that is how they best remember things and excel at doing those things, and I excel by writing lists and knowing what my day consists of-maybe even throw a few random things in there too! :)

4) 2011: The year of service
If you don't know, during the past semester, I surrendered my life to missions. Most people think of mission work with international missions. However, I believe God's calling for me deals with the U.S., maybe even just out my back door. There are so many people here who need to hear and see the love of Christ. Now, if God allows the opportunity, I would like to travel to a foreign missions project, but until then... I am planning on going with my church to New Mexico during the summer for a missions trip. But, this year is just dedicated to service and trying to honor God in everything I do. For example, this month I will be volunteering at my church a little extra helping with the cleaning. I love serving others, and I pray it that it is not just serving others, but completely serving God.

These are my resolutions-more than likely I will fail at some point, but I'm not waiting until another year before I pick myself back up. That is why this year is also dedicated to forgiveness-forgiveness to myself for my failures and forgiveness to other things that will come up this year. God allows us to come to Him for healing and grace, and I'm going to take Him up on that promise :)

A new year

"They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness." Lamentations 3:23

I have always been intrigued by the dawn of a new year. Some will make resolutions to improve a part of their life. Some will disregard this and not even try, because "they never keep them." The later in some ways is probably right. As humans, although I believe we intend good, it is inevitable we are going to fail at some point. At that point, we have a choice to either stay down or get back up and trudge forward. I think this is why I have really found peace in this passage in Lamentations. I know that in some aspects of my life after I fail at something, I almost try to hide so God can't see my imperfections. However, as He gently draws me closer to Him during these times, I realize how much He is in love with us and His mercy really is new each and every morning!

This is why I salute those who set goals at the beginning of a new year. They are making a statement saying this is something I need to change about my life, and I'm starting now. More than likely they will falter at times, but having that ambition and motivation to begin with is a crucial first step. And, from a spiritual standpoint, God's mercies are new every morning (not just at the beginning of a new year), so friends claim that for the year 2011!

I did not set any New Year Resolutions last year for some reason, but this year is going to be different. I am really excited for what this year brings! I have some things in my head of what I am resolving to do this year, but I will bring those to you at a later date. I have grown up with making S.M.A.R.T. goals, therefore, "Having a good attitude," and "Enjoy life," does not suffice for a good S.M.A.R.T. resolution for me. Haha. But, stay tuned... Good luck in your 2011 endeavors!

2010

I was thinking about this past year the other day and was surprised of how things can change so quickly. For instance, after what seemed like 4 long years, I finally graduated from Oklahoma State University with my bachelor's in agricultural communications. I was supposed to graduate, find a job, and be content beyond belief with where my life was headed.

I distinctly remember on my way home from work one summer day just crying in my car (like several times before during the summer) and thinking "You know you are on God's plan when you are not on yours anymore." You see, my work was the same place I had been all during college-I went back to graduate school. AND, accepted a graduate assistantship position in the same office I worked during my undergraduate years. It was a great place to work, but this was definitely not the plan for after graduation.

With one semester done in graduate school, I must say being on God's plan is the most difficult, yet rewarding thing I have ever done. Contrary to what people might think, allowing God to lead your life comes with pain-and I've certainly experienced that during this time of my life. However, I live by the words of John 10:10, "The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full." You see, even through the pain, I believe God still has a plan for my life, and He has allowed for some amazing things to happen throughout this time. Here are some examples:

1) Church Family-I grew up in church so the concept of a church family is not new to me. What is different is how it is approached. They are here to encourage and support you, and to laugh and share memories with too. There is a certain comfort is just having a chat with someone who believes the way you do and you can completely be yourself. Also, I have noticed that we all have different things we have experienced through life. We should be here for each other.

2) Missions- During the past several months, I finally accepted a call to missions. God had been tugging at my heart and telling me to do this for awhile now, but sometimes, quite frankly, it is easier to stray. Thankfully, I obeyed. Although I'm still trying to figure out where God wants me, He keeps showing me everyday of how we must move beyond our church walls. Our local communities and states need to hear the love of Christ too. I'm excited to see where He leads me!

3) Family- Yes, I'm also living at home. At times it is difficult, I'm not going to lie on that one, but it has been such a blessing to be able to do things with my family that I have not done in a long time. It is nice to spend more time with my niece and nephew too. And, just like a couple years ago, we are minus one family member as they are serving overseas. Although I don't wish that on anybody, it does keep things in perspective.

I'm not sure what 2011 is going to bring. However, I'm looking forward to what God brings our way. I'm still trying to follow God's plan, and I truly believe with Him, all things are possible.

In death

In death I am reminded of how much it hurts. It hurts the family and friends who knew the person and it hurts to watch those who hurt. In death I reminded of how important community is-your relationships with the people around you. I am reminded of how important your family is and being thankful for those who you can still share life with. In death I am reminded of what really matters in life-and it isn't the material things we tend to value so much. I am reminded of how important your church family is. Most importantly, I am reminded that as Christians, death has no claim on us. God conquered death so that we may live eternally with Him.

John 19:30 shows us the 3 words Jesus said before He died on the cross more than 2,000 years ago: "It is finished." With this, we have been offered a gift and we must choose either to accept it or not. However, I have to say why not take God up on His offer? This is a gift that keeps giving and giving. Christianity is not a ticket to being perfect because we aren't, and are not capable of perfection, and it isn't going to relieve you of adversity in your life, but it will give you hope. God also offers mercy and grace and like I originally said, eternal life.

I have been thinking about this post for several days in light of a family friend's mother/grandmother. In my head this post runs on and on, but thoughts have seem a little fleeting right now. Sometimes fewer words are better.

God is love

Human love fails. Ever since our ancestors ate the forbidden fruit, we have been incapable of being perfect. Yes, that means even you are not perfect. As humans, we do not have the capacity to truly love another, let alone God, like God loves us.

For a little while now, I have been struggling over how or why does God love me so. We can quote the scriptures saying how much He loves us and we can tell others about His love and how much He loves us, but how often do you stop and actually let that resonate within you? I know God loves me, but sometimes I wonder why. I am so unworthy of His love and grace and mercy, and yet he bestows it on me time and time again.

However, tonight maybe something else clicked. What is true love? If God is love then shouldn’t love be a relentless, ever-pursuing relationship? Since God is love, isn’t love forgiving, compassionate, and just? Isn’t love a best friend and isn’t it a love of few words yet a never-ending thirst to hear what you have to say and be a listening ear?

If God calls you to be married, I assume He creates this type of love into your humanly relationship-as much as possible since we are mere humans. Therefore, I should stop trying to satisfy a want for love through human interactions and let the Lover of my Soul just do His work. Allow Him to pursue me and me pursue Him. At the right time, God-willing, He will make known the human love relationship He has intended for me. God is love. His example should be our example in life. We will still fail because we are humans, but the True Love is right there waiting for us and that is where I find my peace and hope.

Photo Attribution

Did you know?

To my surprise, when my family went to my little brother's Basic Combat Training graduation, several people who graduated with him also obtained their American citizenship the night before. So, my curiosity was definitely heightened because I was unsure who would be trying to become an American citizen while also wanting to serve in the U.S. Army. Granted, I was curious and a little uneasy of that feeling. This is probably because my little brother told me several of those were original Iraqi citizens. Once again, what?! The people we are fighting against are also serving alongside our American soldiers.

Well, that is the truth. They are now Americans and American soldiers themselves. Many of those have been serving as interpreters in Iraq and as allies to our armed forces. So obviously what we are doing in Iraq is for the good. And, I think this teaches us an important lesson-sometimes what we are "fighting" against is only an illusion, sometimes the best and most productive way to combat enemies, is to befriend them-maybe they don't necessarily want to be our enemy, we just make them that way.

If you would like to read about an American citizen from Iraq, please go here and look on the current edition of the Ft. Jackson Leader on page 2. It educated me, and I hope it will you too.

Waiting for the celebration

"This is the day the LORD has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it." Psalm 118:24

Some days when it becomes just a tad too hard for me to take another step without uttering God's praises, I am reminded of this verse. It is all too easy to get wrapped up in the day to day distractions and fast-paced whirlwind, that I fail to stop and thank God for already planning this day and this moment. Over the past couple of years when the only emotion I could think of was to just cry, God reassured me that He made this day. He planned every little detail and He was carrying me through until the end. Although this verse has comforted me many times before, I started really saying it when my brother was in Iraq. Then I said it when my little brother left for Basic, despite the brokenness that had overtaken me. God gently reminded me He was the One in control. He knew what was going to happen and He had already planned that moment. He knows how to restore your brokenness, and I know He is the Ultimate Healer. I only say this because I have experience it. I guess it wasn't a huge surprise when the K-love verse of the day on Thursday, Aug. 12, was Psalm 118:24. This was also the day of Tim's Basic Training Graduation. Even though there was pain to begin with, God also planned the day for celebration.

Lately, I have been praying for God's strength cause I know my strength is not enough to support me. I know that nothing of me will ever be able to compare to what God can do through me. In a time of uncertainties, excitement, and questions, I will stand on the promise that God created this day to be a part of His plan. Remember you always have to go through this day to get to the next. That doesn't seem profound, but it is a forgotten reminder. Though in life we are scared and fear and are broken, God has planned a day of celebration if we just keep on fighting. He wins, therefore we win.

Proof

"Jesus loves me this I know, for the Bible tells me so ..."

When my niece, Mia, was born, my grandma changed the words just a tad to say, "Jesus loves Mia this I know..." and well it has always stuck with me. Every time we get the chance we take Mia to church with us and we try to take her to Awana's on Wednesday nights. Awana's is a children's program, for lack of a better word, used to equip children with studying the Bible. The other night Mia was staying the night with us and she ended up sleeping in my room. I think I have figured out why she does this-I let her stay up as late as she wants-but then again I don't mean to digress. We have always read stories to her so it is only natural that she loves reading. But, here lately, she absolutely loves to make up stories-this girl has a great imagination! Sometimes we share "little girl" stories. My dad started this tradition with me and we have used it with her. The thing is she not only likes to hear them, but also tell them herself. However, last night, she had her Bible and wanted to tell me a story. She kept saying it was a pretend story, therefore I absolutely had no idea what I was about to hear.

She started by telling me about Jesus. And, how He is alive. She said He was nailed to a cross in both of His hands and feet and thorns were placed on His head. He was put in a tomb, but the guards were scared of the angel, she said and He is now alive. I am standing back pretty amazed at this point, thinking how did she know any of this! I think the pretend part came when she started flipping through her Bible, looking at the pictures, and relating what she figured them to be. She said God wanted us to share, to help others, to pray, to be nice, to do what your mom and dad says, to take care of the Earth and build community (I later figure this one is from Disney or something cause oh my goodness wow), etc. I think the beauty in this though, is that God really does call us to do these things. Although she was explaining what she thought it to be from a picture, we really are called to do each of those. Later, she asked me my first tough God question-If Jesus is in Heaven, and we can't see Him, how do we really know He is real?

Honestly, don't we all ask that question some time in our lives? We can talk the talk all we want, but when are we actually going to start living like God is alive and He is coming back again? Now, she is 5 years old, so I figure these questions will start coming, and we did talk about believing in Jesus and that He loves her. She knows that, but it is kind of an exciting time, ya know?

A couple of weeks ago, I sit in on her Sunday School class to fill in for the teachers. There was only 3 girls, and as we sit around the table discussing the lesson for the day, eating our pretend play dough goodies, I asked them how we could help others. They were great at coming up with answers, then my precious Mia said, "We are lucky." I don't think she knew the extent to what that meant, but it blew me away. I literally had tears in my eyes. Yes, we are so blessed and lucky. Despite the grief, troubles, and tribulations, we are so blessed beyond our imagination.

I'm excited for a couple opportunities this upcoming year. 1) To work with the bed babies in the nursery during sunday school. 2) To help with AWANA's on Wednesday nights. Both of these have to do with children, and I think it is important to start mentoring as soon as you can. Yes, babies are a little difficult, but you can be the smiling, comforting face to the parents when they come in too. I asked myself a question earlier on about how did Mia know this stuff? Well, it is because children soak up a lot of information. They are a sponge. And, they love to tell what they have learned. To have faith like a child is a wondrous thing...maybe we should all revisit our childhood sometime.

Army Strong

"...For when I am weak, then I am strong." 2 Corinthians 12:10

About five years ago, my older brother enlisted in the U.S. Army. No one in my family was 100 percent certain of what was to come, but after we got through the first little bit of him going to Basic Combat Training and Advanced Individual Training (AIT), it seemed OK because we had him back again since he only joined the Reserves.

However, it was right around two years ago, I learned he would be going to Iraq for a year. Yes, I have always supported the troops, but this year that he was gone, I learned a little about what it meant to be "Army Strong." Although I do not want to be considered in the same bracket as those actually serving, I also recognize that friends and families of soldiers can be classified under this umbrella of being "Army Strong." Often when things were difficult or I just felt like I couldn't take it anymore, I thought of my brother across seas. Here I was complaining about my day, when even now I still do not know what he went through. Perhaps it was the excessive heat, therefore, Bryan would get to work before the sun came up and didn't leave until the sun went down, and maybe skipped lunch because it was just too hot to go outside in fatigues. Or, maybe it was the dust storms that you can't even see in front of you. Or, it could have been doing your job only to see your fellow American soldier lying dead in a building too close for comfort. These are just a few of the stories, and I honestly don't know much more because Bryan's Army world is much of a "don't ask, don't tell" philosophy. But, possibly the most incredible part of this is that even with these things above and more, he never complained about what he was going through. In fact, if it wouldn't have been for Tim's and my senior years, he wanted to go to Afghanistan. Simply thinking upon what my brother might be enduring in the day, gave me some sort of strength to make it through my days while he was gone. I figured my little things failed in comparison to what he was facing-and he wasn't even grumbling!

Since then, although he is back, I still think about our armed forces serving here at home and overseas. They will never know it, but they give me strength. Likewise, even though I have many uncertainties and am a little emotionally drained, I think upon my little brother back in South Carolina. Every day is a different day with a different task until he starts his AIT, which he doesn't know when that will happen. That means, once he starts AIT, he has 10 weeks of that, then he gets to come home for a couple weeks. This means since he hasn't started, he is uncertain of when he will see his family again, and the same goes for us. He too, is giving me strength that he will never know.

I can't end this post without writing about my ultimate source of strength-Jesus Christ. He settles me down and gently asks me, "What is your finish line?" These giants that seem to be in my way at times (and now) are only going to be here for a little time, although it may seem like they are stationary. If Christ is my finish line, He has already defeated those giants.

By the way, I just ordered an "Army Strong" wristband. Our strength alone is not sufficient..

Relationships

Yes, I am blogging at work...whew, now that is off my shoulders, here we go.

Most of us have been told for many years, it is all about a relationship. I am not talking about love relationships, but more of the type you possess in a work situation. My philosophy has always been if you work hard to form those relationships, then the other person will in turn reciprocate those same type of characteristics you possess. Some of these could be as simple as listening to the mundane aspects of your personal life, doing what is asked of you and get it to them on time, being polite, being punctual, being willing to do what no one will do and maybe even when no one asks you to, etc. I feel like there are several more, but you get what I am saying (mostly because you have heard these too). Perhaps, this philosophy does work 73.2 percent of the time, but something is lacking to achieve the full 100 percent.

However, in this dog-eat-dog world, we are focused on what is in it for us. How unfortunate! In one action, all of the "trust" you have built up in this "relationship" can be torn away. It can come from one person or it can be association with one or many people. I live in a constant struggle of wanting to maintain the peace with everyone around me and wanting to let people know what they did is not right and call them out on their wrongdoings.

Polite honesty seems to be the underlying theme in all of these. Although I believe I am honest, maybe not honest enough. I probably don't do that just because I don't want you to hate me. But, are we really serving any justice by sweeping it all under the rug? I will be supervising two students in about two weeks. I can't imagine it being unbearable, but I am going to try this honesty thing-not sure if they will like it, but it will be better than me keeping it all inside and be frustrated at the end of the day if something is not done that needs to be done. When you are honest, you do not have to be rude. I feel like when you are honest, people know they can go to you and receive the truth and confide in you, therefore they trust you. You are building a relationship, and maybe we need a little more polite honesty in our lives to reach that 100 percent.

The Invitation

"Then I looked and heard the voice of many angels, numbering thousands upon thousands, and ten thousand times ten thousand. They encircled the throne and the living creatures and the elders. In a loud voice they sang: 'Worthy is the Lamb, who was slain, to receive power and wealth and wisdom and strength and honor and glory and praise!' Revelation 5:11-12

This is the first Sunday after the youth in our church returned from Falls Creek, the largest Christian youth camp in the U.S. I always look forward to this service because it is just an amazing sight to see the students come forward during invitation time at the end of service. If you are not sure what an invitation is, it is commonly used in Baptist churches at the end of service to allow anyone who has made a decision to come forward before the church. It is not like floods of students come forward, but several usually do and when the Spirit moves, it is an overwhelming experience. An invitation to me is a testament of total surrender and an act of obedience. However, during this invitation I had another feeling come over me. As the congregation was singing (and we sang for awhile) it was like a choir of angels was singing over the people who came forward to profess the decisions they had made during camp or even right this morning! Yes, we had a little boy who accepted Christ as his personal Savior for the first time this morning and he was bawling...such a precious sight to see!

This time it reminded me we have to be encouragers to those around us. Us singing was a way of support...I have never thought coming before the church was easy. And, it reminded me of the angels in Heaven praising God and singing over us as we keep step-by-step, sometimes crawl-by-crawl moving forward through life.

"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us." Hebrews 12:1

Whether it is the church or family or friends, we need to encourage others in their walk with Christ. We need to unceasingly pray and believe that God is God and He can do far greater than we can. Nothing is impossible with God! It says that in Luke 1:37...check it out! Anyways, I encourage you that our God is a faithful God and he is just and He loves us so much. He is constantly pursuing us; delight in Him today!

Here is my favorite praise and worship song right now.....Came to my Rescue....enjoy!

Whatever is admirable...

"Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things." Philipians 4:8

In a recent turn of events, the "World's Strongest Army" has kind of decreased on my awe factor. I went to bed last night troubled by a few things regarding the Army, and instead of writing a hateful blog directed toward the Armed Forces, I shall look at some of the positives of our army.

1) Cpt. Thompson: This man told my brother if he ever got deployed, he would go with him. When Bryan was given orders to complete a year in Iraq, Cpt. Thompson kept his word. In fact, he sent back his own orders of going somewhere in the U.S. and asked to be deployed to Camp Victory, Iraq. He had to do this twice before he was given orders to be deployed to Iraq. This was his 5th tour overseas. I don't think I could have the strength to do this. It makes me think two things: 1) Integrity and honor still exist in the world and 2) It is good to know people out there like this are serving our country. Someone who would risk their lives to join their "brother" in a foreign place and keep their word.

2) My brother: OK, so I realize I am completely biased on this one, but when he actually decides to talk about the army, he only has good things to say. Some of his last words to Tim when he left to go to Basic was "it will be fun." Ha...really? And, yes that is basically what came out of my mouth the second after Bryan said it was fun. And, to my surprise, Bryan really meant it. In fact, the only album on his Facebook is titled "Good times" and it is of his days in Iraq. I also asked him why he didn't want to become a drill sergeant and he said cause they can't get deployed and he wouldn't want to put himself in a situation where he couldn't get deployed. Once again...seriously? But, he is serious. Like Cpt. Thompson, I am thankful for soldiers like these who fight for our freedom...and this really is life and death.

3) OK ADT: This stands for the Agribusiness Development Team and it is through the Oklahoma National Guard. I recently received an e-mail from someone who is in the 1-45th OK ADT. We had sent them a ton of crayons earlier in the year and was wondering if they needed more or if the new group would be continuing the project. Here is an insert of what I received.

"Not only does it give them something to color but it helps improve their language skills. The children also always ask for writing utensils for school. They always want to show us their notebooks that they practice writing English in. Most ask for anything to write with crayon, pen, pencil, anything so they can do their homework and practice English because the can't take their utensils home from school."

This is real life of what is happening outside of our country. We take for granted the choice of things as silly as which pen color to use when these children are hungry for anything they can get. We live in such luxury.

These are the first thoughts that popped in my head. I am thankful for the troops and people out there like this, and I know there are many more than what I just mentioned. Hoorah!

Photo attribution

Goals

I used to think of myself as one who made goals, but somewhere along the way I have lost that part of me. Perhaps it was during college when all of a sudden I really didn't know what I wanted to do when I "grew up" and didn't what to think about it. However, the fact is I still don't know what I want to do, but I realized today going through life without goals is not very fun...or at least for me. Most of you have heard of the S.M.A.R.T. goal system; well this isn't the place for that today! :) Some of these may even be more like bucket list type goals, but here it goes:

1) Pursue Christ: "I seek you with all my heart; do not let me stray from your commands." Psalm 119:10

Growing up in church, the three most commonly used ways to have a relationship with Christ is 1) Establishing a quiet time and adhering to it; 2) Prayer; and 3) Going to church. Although those are all great ways to connect with Christ, and trust me I need to work on them, I don't consider them to be the only ones. Pursuing Christ needs to happen everyday...and everyday you don't go to church! I believe pursuing Christ entails being more like Christ. He fed the hungry, healed the sick (which this one might not pertain to me hehe) loved children, and hung out with people we wouldn't think about today, to name a few. It is having an attitude that is Christ-like. You know it kind of brings a whole new meaning to "but the flesh is so weak." Pursuing Christ is an everyday act of obedience to follow God's plan and allow Him to lead your life.

2) Prioritize: I have often told people my priorities are faith.family.friends. But, c'mon! If you know me, I feel like "school" should go in that list somewhere because that is what my life was for 4 years! Often, it was much higher than those others. Although I don't believe it is a bad thing to have school as a priority, it is also important to strive to really prioritize your life. If I say those are my top 3 priorities, then I need to work on them everyday to make them apart of my life...not just something I say because it sounds good.

3) Serve others: "You, my brothers, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the sinful nature; rather, serve one another in love." Galatians 5:13

Volunteering has always been a big part of my life. I love it, and I most definitely have a passion for it! Throughout my collegiate career, I have had the opportunity to do many service projects, and I am thankful for each one of them. However, now is the time to start doing on my own without student organizations or such. For example, I think I want to volunteer at the Regional Food Bank of Oklahoma. Oh, and maybe Habitat for Humanity..hey, Mike was there last time, maybe he will be there again ;) Who knows what is in store, but there are always ample opportunities to get in the community and serve others. I have been blessed by being able to eat and walk and have shelter...why wouldn't I want to give others a little bit of comfort through these efforts as well?

4) Be adventurous: OK, lets be honest, I am the least adventurous person you know. But, I want that to change. Life doesn't have to be planned out minute by minute! Hiking, road trips, new foods (not Fear Factor style though), etc. are a few things I had in mind. If you have any ideas on this goal, let me know...

5) Make goodies: I have a fascination with cupcakes and cakes that look like they came from a bakery. Well, I am going to do it! Wouldn't it be fun?!? I want to make delicious goodies just so I can say I did it! Who knows, it could become a hobby!! And, I feel like this is a little vintage ;) Yippee!

6) Don't be perfect: We were made perfect in the beginning, but after the eating of the apple, humans were sinful. Although we should strive for perfection, it is not attainable, only in Christ. So, I should not stress over being perfect, but rather praise God for His grace and mercy. Also, I am talking in all aspects of my life...it doesn't have to be perfect. God already knows what is going to happen in my life, and I will trust Him, even when it is difficult.

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These goals obviously cannot be attained within a certain amount of time, but rather striving for them everyday. So, what are your goals? Have you thought about it lately? We get so caught up just going through life, we forget what is important to us. Make it a point to spend time for yourself so you can be fulfilled as well. Lets see where this journey takes us!

Photo attribution: Click Here

The Strength of Christ

"Let him who boasts boast in the Lord."
1 Cor. 1:31

God has given me so many reasons to boast in Him lately, and I must tell the blogger world! (Even if no one reads this haha) It seems that scripture is taken on a new meaning anymore these days. God is truly speaking and showing me new promises each day. I want to share a few of those with you.

"Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart." Psalm 37:4

In Webster's Dictionary, the word 'desire' means to long or hope for. Likewise, 'delight' means to have extreme satisfaction. I have always thought this verse was about me, self. If I wanted something, God was surely going to grant it to me. But, truth is that this life is not about me at all! And, God does long to give you the desires of your heart as long as it is in His will and His plan, not yours. AND, and, look again at the word 'desire.' Desire is more than just wanting something, it is something so deep down, something you yearn for, and sometimes maybe something you honestly didn't expect. That last part may not make sense, but see if you can understand this. I don't always go about saying everything I long for to everyone who passes by, and often not to even my closest friends and family. But, at times there is something deep inside of you that you have put off for so long and when the time has come, and in God's plan, he will grant you that desire. Sometimes you almost forget it is there. In Matthew, God says He has numbered the very hairs on our head. Don't you think He cares about our most intimate details of our lives such as our desires? I think so! I won't go into detail what brought this about, but I have to give God the glory for showing me He does care...even in the things that may not be a big deal, it was a big deal to me.

"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake , I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong." 2 Cor. 12:9-10

God has once again shown me His timing is perfect. I have thought about writing this specific blog for a couple of weeks now, but I just haven't until tonight. God showed me His strength again today and the need for us to draw near to Him in times of suffering. Part of the lyrics by Francesca Battistelli in "Beautiful, Beautiful" states "But even perfect days can end in rain." Every time I hear this song, those words stand out to me like bright flashing lights. This made sense again when, after a decent day at work, I entered my car and within 5 minutes received a text message saying my high school English teach had passed away. Mind you, I was on my way to Vacation Bible School and had to be strong for everyone around, correct? So my on and off again crying spells led me to the church parking lot where I fixed my makeup and headed into the church where I went to my mom's room to hand her my keys. Right then, I broke down. I had prayed for God's strength to get me through the next couple of hours. I realized when I was crying that sometimes God's strength comes through other avenues such as my mom. He allows us to completely fall into His arms, broken and hurt. You see, that is His strength to me. It isn't about being the tough person, but surrendering yourself to Christ and His power.

I sat through the funeral today of my beloved teacher and did fairly well. However, I noticed the pain and hurt of her grandson and daughter. You might expect it from the daughter, but the grandson is a 'manly soldier' who could not hide the pain. And, I felt so little. I have always been one to want to help stop others from hurting, but sometimes you are helpless. You see we all have hurt, and it doesn't all come in the same package. Sometimes it hurts at times more than others and sometimes you may just feel numb. But, speaking from experience, God is the Ultimate Healer. His strength is incomparable to what we can do alone. I can't say that it is always easy, but I have no idea how I could go through pain in my life without the hope of Jesus Christ. Allow His strength to be your resting place today, friend.

I am leaving you with a picture of my niece and me at VBS this year...